bye bye 2017

1 day left. 1 day!! How has a year just completely flown by??! It is absolutely crazy...just wow. Gone in the blink of an eye..*phew*

And its only going to get faster 

2017 has been absolutely amazing. My mind has been blown with what has happened in my life in only 12 short months. God has truly blessed me this year. blessed. 

Okay, well before I keep rambling..this year I discovered a book of 500 writing prompts!! It is really nice for conversation starters and just thought provoking questions..

The one I opened to last week was: Name 5 things you learned this year. Were they beneficial? 

I learned so many things in 2017 but I will stick to five. And every one of them was beneficial and have changed how I have look at things now :)

12/18/17

when you can't 
seem to get 
past 
the basics
memories of old
sins keep showing 
up on your doorstep. 
the hate for yourself 
is stifling.
constantly comparing you 
to others 
all the while 
listening to the devil
but there's more
to it you know, a 
grace bigger than you 
could ever show.
but first you have to take all the 
thoughts from hell 
& let them go.
.
. 
just some thoughts from a while ago

my time is God's time

i am truly very thankful. 

November 13 was a day my life changed. in seconds. my day was going normal. 

i had finished a somewhat stressful day at college. 

i had made plans to babysit the next morning. i was driving home from my youth 

symphony rehearsal. same route i have driven since august. it was late at night.

but i was used to it. in my head i was thinking about my day. i was dreading my upcoming 

test in two days.

as i rethink back over what happened i remember bits and pieces.

i saw a car that was stopped, waiting for me to pass. 

i was going through my green light

then all of a sudden a car was in front of me.

i had one second to realize what was going to happen

and i screamed 

then everything was black...

poem and photos

the frost from this morning

wow.. its been a whirlwind since i last wrote...life has been so crazy! but i am holding on with God's grace and never ending strength :) and i am so grateful for that.

funny thing..i prayed that God would give me a hard time this upcoming school year. i asked him to challenge me...i don't really know why but one day i was just praying while i was doing "life" and all of a sudden i just prayed for that...it kinda came out before i could stop it.
.
.
.
i wanted to grow and to be stretched in Him. i didn't want it to be easy for me. and boy...i don't think i have been this stretched in a very long time. but i know i will grow from this time in life and learn so many important lessons.
.

You are Never Alone || Elijah and Me

lake superior

I am going to be honest. Blunt. 

I have been feeling tired. Tired of people. Tired of what they talk about. What they listen to. How they act. The meaninglessness of what they spend their time on. 

As I was wading through this pit of (despair, would you call it?) I was given a beautiful breeze of refreshment.

 My pastor gave a sermon. And my spirit sang at the good news.

"I ask then: Did God reject his people? By no means!" 
Romans 11:1 

Did you hear that? A small voice floated around trying to capture my attention. He has not rejected...

Yes, I heard. God has not rejected His people. And I am one of His. But still...

My pastor asked us to turn to a different part of the Bible. 1 Kings 19. Elijah was fleeing. 

"He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough LORD,' he said. 'Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 

He was in despair. Done. He was finished. Quitting. 

I'm with you Elijah. I am done. Finished. Quitting.

"And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." 

This seems so familiar to me. I get this kind of despair Elijah.

happy monday y'all ↟↡ 10 facts about me

Ok guys...so I was in a blogging blah. So my absolutely awesome sis looked up blogging ideas for me while she was doing homework. Well, here goes nothing. :)

1. I haven't brushed my hair in years......dudes for real. I have such curly hair than once when I twisted (yes this was a stupid idea) a comb in it and I got it seriously stuck. Eventually *imagine sweat, blood and tears* I was able to get it out after a while....long while. Now, I pretty much just finger comb. I pretty much scream if someone tries to brush my hair. Another reason why I haven't been to get my hair cut in about 7 years. 
2. My favorite color is green. Anybody who lives where there is snow knows exactly what I am talking about. It's so refreshing and there are soooo many shades you can have. Even my room is green. Plus my friend told me today that I look good in green. yay! 
3. I play 6 instruments. Yup yup!! My main instrument is viola (I have chair tests today for the Youth Symphony I am in) and then I dabble in violin, piano, guitar, flute, alto sax, and I say I less than dabble in harp (my sis plays). 
4. I am terrified of roller coasters....not even joking. But for some reason I still go. I will be sitting there through the whole ride not making a sound and definitely not raising my hands. Are you crazy??? Everyone else is yelling and laughing and looking like their having fun in the pictures afterwards. I, however, look like I am in a invisible straight jacket and my face is plastered in a sort of grimace.  
5. I only want boys when I get married. My mom says I am crazy. I know I am crazy. But I still want boys. If God gives me girls I won't complain. And all my kids are all going to have Hebrew names. *pounds the gavel*
6. Escargot and calamari are officially DISGUSTING!!! Who had the brilliant idea to take an animal out of a shell and fry it?....need I say more. And no I didn't want to try the snail. I have an uncle who likes to eat anything that moves basically. That means I have also had turtle, duck, venison, quail eggs (those were so nasty my cousin gagged) 
7. I absolutely adore kids with special needs!! They melt my heart. Seeing a smile from them is like sunshine on the gloomiest of days. I'm actually looking to be an OTA (Occupational Therapy Assistant). I would help people with special needs and some without (stroke patients and such) fine motor skills like tying your shoes and using a spoon. 
8. I actually don't really enjoy reading. The book literally has to drag me into it. Books like Les Miserables, Tale of Two Cities, Great Expectations, Little Dorrit, don't capture me. The list keeps going. I enjoy Biographies and any story based off of any war. Does that sound weird?
9. I have mopped the ceiling....ok guys!! This was when I was 9? I think 8 almost 9. Definitely old enough to know better. As a punishment I was put on drying duty for the rest of the month...which meant the legs of your jeans were sopping by the end. Just punishment I admit...*sigh* did I mention we were selling our house at the time? I also accidentally got silly putty stuck in the master bedrooms carpet. I didn't mean to. I swear. 
10. I am not competitive and I don't really like games. Yeah I know. Party pooper. I'm sorta the oddball in our family. My mom has flipped the board and my brother has kicked the board (I was actually playing a game with him cuz he asked). My older sister, my dad, my four younger brothers, my mom are all soooooo competitive. And they wonder why I don't want to play? Cuz they are all trying to beat the snot out of the person they are up against! My dad's monopoly condos cost more money to land on than I have owned in my life. Risk is a game of kill-otherwise-you-will-be-slowly-squeezed-for-five-days-straight. The game of Sorry the pieces go flying with a little oops sorry floating behind it. 

There are 10 facts (and slightly more) about me!! My hand is cramping from typing this all out an iPod (thanks Beks) because the internet isn't working on the computer. 

What color is your hair? What's your favorite color? Do you play any instruments? Do you like roller coasters? Boys or girls? How many kids? Weirdest food you've eaten? What's your favorite book? What is the weirdest thing you have done? Competitive? Do you like games?

The one who waits ↠ Daniel 12:12

       I am at a season of my life where I am waiting. and waiting. Sometimes it bothers me. Most of the time it doesn't. I am just working and helping and teaching while waiting to see where God points me in my short life on this eath. And I don't mind. Here is a devotional that I read over and over that speaks to me in this time of my life. 

↠ Waiting may seem like an easy thing to do, but it is a discipline that a Christian soldier does not learn without years of training. Marching and drills are much easier for God's warriors than standing still. 

There are times of indecision and confusion, when even the most willing person, who eagerly desires to serve the Lord, does not know what direction to take. So what should you do when you find yourself in this situation? Should you allow yourself to be overcome with despair? Should you turn back in cowardice or in fear or rush ahead in ignorance?

No, you should simply wait--but wait in prayer. Call upon God and plead your case before Him, telling Him of your difficulty and reminding Him of His promise to help.

Wait in faith. Express your unwavering confidence in Him. And believe that even if He keeps you waiting until midnight, He will come at the right time to fulfill His vision for you.

Wait in quiet patience. Never complain about what you believe to be the cause of your problems, as the children of Israel did against Moses. Accept your situation exactly as it is and then simply place it with your whole heart into the hand of your covenant God ↞

Wait, patiently wait, 

God is never late;

Your budding plans are in Your Father's holding,

And only wait His grand divine unfolding.

Then wait, wait, 

Patiently wait. 

Trust, hopefully trust, 

That God will adjust

Your tangled life; and from its dark concealings,

Will bring His will, in all its bright revealings.

Then trust, trust,

Hopefully trust.

Rest, peacefully rest, 

On your Savior's breast;

Breathe in His ear your sacred high ambition,

 And He will bring it forth in blest fruition.

Then rest, rest,

Peacefully rest.

Mercy A. Gladwin

Uganda Times ↠ Say No

Mt. Wanale

beautiful red dirt

Kevin and me <3

A week ago I was standing in red Ugandan dirt. My hands were never clean and my feet stained red. Little faces beamed up at me with their white teeth grinning. I loved every moment I spent there even though it was different than home. There will be many more posts on the trip and many more pictures. But for now I will give you this poem I wrote about 3 children who were following us around market asking for money.

You pleaded
but i had to say no
inside my heart bleeded
i wanted to say yes
so that you would be blessed
giving you money
food, anything
that would make you
a slave
to a passion that fills with a never ending hunger
it would consume you
never being able to see
outside the box
so i tell you no
gently pushing you
towards a new road
one where He only
can fill the hole

Kevin and Baby Moses

Mr. Sparkle Eyes

Kevine

Happy New Year ↠ 13 Days Late

↠Happy New Year Everybody↞

Yes, it is waaayyyy past January 1st *screams because almost half of the first month is gone*...but the strange thing about this year is that I have made resolutions(and for the most part kept them)! Yes, y'all should be very shocked. Anybody who knows me understands what I mean.

Here they are!! *drumrolllllllll*

I Will 

➢ not complain

 I would like to think that I don't complain...but so many times I catch myself through out the day like *but whyyyyyy???* or *fiiiinnnnneee...sigh i'll do it* Granted, I may not say them out loud but I do have them rolling around in my head sometimes. Whether I am pulling huge globs of hair out of the shower, digging out chunks of toothpaste from the sink, or even making my bed *like why?? i am just going to get in it 12 hours* 

 

➢ spend time in the Word and prayer everyday 

   

 A recent LifeWay Research study found only 45 percent of those who regularly attend church read the Bible more than once a week. Over 40 percent of the people attending read their Bible occasionally, maybe once or twice a month. Almost 1 in 5 churchgoers say they never read the Bible—essentially the same number who read it every day. 

yeah....a friend wants to come over, you want to watch the latest Netflix series, or I don't even know what. But DON'T YOU DARE! Your Heavenly Father, the one who knit you together before you were even thought of, wants to talk to you. He deeply loves you. My mind can barely fathom the extent of His amazing grace and astounding love. Nothing is more important than spending time with the one who never leaves you. Never. He is always there. If you are feeling sad, don't go to your friends first but turn to God.

➢ actively give out compliments

People love to be told how nice they look or how pretty their hair is or something. For me I honestly don't care if people don't give me compliments. It's just not my thing. So for me it is not something I do regularly. Plus, in a world where the physical appearance is soooo overrated and mentioned people need to know that they are perfect the way God created them.

➢ drink 8 cups of water a day minimum

  

confession time: I never drink water...EVER!! I can go about 2 and a half days without drinking a single cup of water....*yells at myself*  I might wake up and drink coffee (rarely) and then I resort to fruits when I am thirsty. I know it is very unhealthy and I am honestly trying!! 

➢ attempt to blog regularly 

I don't want it to become a distraction but I have enjoyed blogging and just being able to put my thoughts out where other people can see them. I could totally post more often *looks through my 8 rough drafts* but time is a fleeting thing. And family is important and there are many precious moments. 

did you have any resolutions??

what is your fav. Bible verse?