my time is God's time

i am truly very thankful. 

November 13 was a day my life changed. in seconds. my day was going normal. 

i had finished a somewhat stressful day at college. 

i had made plans to babysit the next morning. i was driving home from my youth 

symphony rehearsal. same route i have driven since august. it was late at night.

but i was used to it. in my head i was thinking about my day. i was dreading my upcoming 

test in two days.

as i rethink back over what happened i remember bits and pieces.

i saw a car that was stopped, waiting for me to pass. 

i was going through my green light

then all of a sudden a car was in front of me.

i had one second to realize what was going to happen

and i screamed 

then everything was black...

poem and photos

the frost from this morning

wow.. its been a whirlwind since i last wrote...life has been so crazy! but i am holding on with God's grace and never ending strength :) and i am so grateful for that.

funny thing..i prayed that God would give me a hard time this upcoming school year. i asked him to challenge me...i don't really know why but one day i was just praying while i was doing "life" and all of a sudden i just prayed for that...it kinda came out before i could stop it.
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i wanted to grow and to be stretched in Him. i didn't want it to be easy for me. and boy...i don't think i have been this stretched in a very long time. but i know i will grow from this time in life and learn so many important lessons.
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You are Never Alone || Elijah and Me

lake superior

I am going to be honest. Blunt. 

I have been feeling tired. Tired of people. Tired of what they talk about. What they listen to. How they act. The meaninglessness of what they spend their time on. 

As I was wading through this pit of (despair, would you call it?) I was given a beautiful breeze of refreshment.

 My pastor gave a sermon. And my spirit sang at the good news.

"I ask then: Did God reject his people? By no means!" 
Romans 11:1 

Did you hear that? A small voice floated around trying to capture my attention. He has not rejected...

Yes, I heard. God has not rejected His people. And I am one of His. But still...

My pastor asked us to turn to a different part of the Bible. 1 Kings 19. Elijah was fleeing. 

"He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough LORD,' he said. 'Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors." 

He was in despair. Done. He was finished. Quitting. 

I'm with you Elijah. I am done. Finished. Quitting.

"And the word of the LORD came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." 

This seems so familiar to me. I get this kind of despair Elijah.